Today, we continue our study of the book of Daniel, where we are learning to thrive, not just survive, in this challenging world.  Last week, we moved into Daniel 6, which leads us to the story that probably comes to mind when you think of Daniel in Scripture: Daniel and the Lion's Den.  Today is going to be a little different. We will discuss Daniel 6, but I want to take a step back and share something about Daniel’s life that struck me as I began preparing for this talk.  It’s that Daniel is an overcomer.  He has overcome pain.  He has overcome trauma.  He has overcome fear.  He has overcome unimaginable circumstances and lives his life and walks in the overwhelming victory that we all desire as children of God, but struggle to find and experience because of pain, sin, hurt, and the difficulty of life.  Daniel lives in a world that says he is defeated, a slave, that he is stuck, yet he seems to have achieved something we all want, something we read of in Scripture, yet struggle to experience.  Daniel’s life points us to this rare gift of overwhelming victory that seems out of reach in a world that presses in on us so hard.

Romans 8:37 “No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.” NLT

Despite all of Daniel’s things, he is walking in overwhelming victory, and despite all your things, you can too!  Today, I want to discuss how to be an overcomer, able to walk in and experience overwhelming victory in this challenging world, just as Daniel did.

Let’s start with a couple of questions.  Have you ever noticed how passionate our Spiritual Family is about you investing in your inner world?  We talk a lot about your spiritual and emotional health, don’t we?  Why do you think that is?  Let me ask you this: Do you believe personal healing is important?   Let me get a little more real and a little more practical.  Have you ever wondered why Christians can be so, well, so opposite of the loving, peaceful, honest, and victorious people we read that we should be in Scripture?  Have you ever wondered why good, well-meaning, God-loving people seem to come together and struggle to be in community with one another?  Why is it so disappointing, weird, even painful?  I mean, Jesus says that we are to love God and love others, and that following His teaching is easy, and light…so why does this whole Christian thing feel so complicated and heavy?  I know we don’t ask these questions out loud, but aren’t they in our minds? Since we're asking the questions, we don’t typically ask out loud, let’s move to our lives.  Why is there so much pain in our most primary relationships, like with our parents, our children, and in our marriages? If we all love each other, why are these relationships hard, painful, and messy at times?  I mean, think of marriage itself, shouldn’t that relationship be easier? I mean, if none of the others are easy, this one has some other factors that you would think would help it along.  It starts with two people who are attracted to each other, they fall in love, and that love, from what the movies tell me, should be enough, right?  Yet, more marriages end poorly than end happily ever after in our world today.  Why do marriages start so passionately, romantically, and excitingly, and turn into another messy, challenging grind over time? 

Here’s what I want you to know today.  The reason all these things are so messy is that each of us has experienced pain, trauma, disappointments, and life-shaping moments that have shaped our lives.  It creates what I often refer to as a lens through which we see life, but you could say it this way.  It makes a version of you that we could call “The Wounded Self.”  Now, we may feel like this version of ourselves is just who we are, but it is not the version that God created us to be; that version of ourselves we could call the “True Self.”  Paul refers to these versions of ourselves as “The Old Self” and “The New Self” in Colossians 3.

Colossians 3:9-10 “Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.” NIV

It’s interesting that Paul is writing to Christians here and needs to tell them not to lie to each other.  Christians don’t lie, do they?  How do we lie to each other?  We don’t live real lives; we put on masks and live fake lives, we posture and pretend to be things we aren’t.  We may not be intentionally lying, but we aren’t living authentic lives.  Paul says, as we come to know Jesus, we are done with that.  We are putting away the old self and putting on the new.  The problem is that it takes a lot of work.  That requires investing in our inner worlds and becoming emotionally and spiritually healthy people, and not many people are willing to do that intentional, essential work.  So, what happens?  What happens is what we see all around us every day.  Fractured relationships, distance from God, and well, pain, conflict, disappointment, and the hard life just gets harder and harder.  Why does this happen?  Because we haven’t overcome the wounded self.  Now we may have tried to move on, saying things like time heals all wounds, but we haven’t overcome it.  We may not even try to overcome it because we have convinced ourselves it is just who we are, or our pain isn’t that big of a deal, or it’s in the past, so I will leave it there, or life simply is what it is, but we haven’t dealt with it and it doesn’t go away.  We may have tried to replace it with good behaviors, or pushed it down deep inside and covered it up with a smile, but we have not dealt with it, and even those of us who are really good at hiding it can’t hide it; it just keeps coming out. 

So, I asked why those primary relationships with those we love most can be so difficult.  I asked why churches full of people with God’s love in them can be so painful and messy.  Let me show you how it works as practically as possible, and I will use marriage as an example.   So, how does a marriage start?  With physical attraction, warm fuzzy feelings, and romance that leads to dating.  If you are married, think back to those days and ask how much of the real you were willing to put out there back then?  Guys, think of the effort you went to, ladies, think of the things you did.  As an example of this, and not to be too gross, but I know some men who didn’t know women used the bathroom or had gas until they were married!  It’s not even all that intentional, but we present the best possible version of ourselves to our potential mate, and the real stuff comes out later.  The issue is that if we haven’t dealt with our wounded self, we carry it with us into the relationship, and over time we can’t hide it. It leads to tension, communication breakdowns, pain, frustration, and worse after the passion, attraction, and excitement of those early dating and honeymoon phases move on, and real life begins.  It’s like there are four people in your marriage at that point: you and her, and both your wounded selves. 

It’s the same in our churches.  We come to church, and can do our best to smile, and present a version of us to the Spiritual Family, but we are still carrying that other version with us, and over time, we can’t hide it, and when you take a group of people all bringing their wounded self into life with each other, it will get messy, every time.  People come to church and find Jesus, much like they step into a marriage.  They start in the dating phase, and it’s exciting and fun.  We find this joy in knowing that our sins are forgiven and that we have eternal life to look forward to one day.  We find a community of people and step into it.  We find a leader we like or look up to and enjoy their teachings.  But over time, the excitement and romance of those early days with Jesus lead us to a confrontation with the wounded self.  The question then becomes: will we fully surrender our lives and do the hard work of growing into the people God created us to be, or will we continue to lie to one another, living in the false or wounded self?  That is where the rubber truly meets the road in your relationship with God, with other people, and in your Spiritual Family.  I wish more people stepped into the work of overcoming the wounded self, yet so few do.  It’s after the honeymoon phase fades that real life could begin, but many leave disappointed because they aren’t looking for more work, maybe are comfortable in the wounded self, or they just can’t see what could be.

For Ken and I, it is hard to watch people struggle.  It’s hard to watch the brightness and joy in people’s eyes dim over time.  It’s hard to watch people suppress their true selves, living lives that just aren’t their own.  It’s hard watching people walk through life in so much pain, isolated, alone, and defeated, and to be honest, I’m tired of tiptoeing around that.  I’m tired of everyone convincing themselves of a reality that isn’t real and then insisting that everyone around them is thinking, acting, and feeling as they do, when the truth is so far from that. I’m tired of watching us accept what we aren’t, unable to see or hear the truth of who we are. It’s hard to watch people's lives shrink when God wants them to expand; there's just so much more to experience, and so few do.  It’s hard to see the wreckage of fractured relationships with each other and God as we walk through life, viewing and interpreting it through fear, pain, insecurity, and sin rather than through the perfect lens of God's love and grace, and I want to discuss it today.  So, let’s get into our study.

So, last week, you were introduced to Daniel 6, which is our famous Daniel and the Lions' Den moment.  As I read through Daniel 6 this week to prepare this message, I was struck by the broader perspective on Daniel’s life, and I want us to step back and look at it today.  Daniel 6 picks up where Daniel 5 left us, which was a massive moment in history.  Do you remember that?  The Medes and Persians have conquered and destroyed the Babylonian Empire.  Daniel is now around 80 years old and has survived and outlasted two Kings, as well as an entire empire.  It’s important to remember this isn’t like there was a vote and a new leader goes into place.  No, this is destroying an empire and taking it for your own, and when that happens, the new king wipes it all out; he doesn’t leave anyone from the old regime.  But Darius, who is named King of the new empire, keeps Daniel around.  Take a look at this; it’s just a couple of sentences, but it’s a big deal.

Daniel 5:30-6:3 That very night, Belshazzar, king of the Babylonians, was slain, 31 and Darius the Mede took over the kingdom, at the age of sixty-two. 6:1 It pleased Darius to appoint 120 satraps to rule throughout the kingdom, 2 with three administrators over them, one of whom was Daniel. The satraps were made accountable to them so that the king might not suffer loss. 3 Now Daniel so distinguished himself among the administrators and the satraps by his exceptional qualities that the king planned to set him over the whole kingdom.  NIV

So, not only does he not kill Daniel, but he also names him one of the top three men in the entire kingdom. Once again, Daniel is promoted and is thriving in life so much so that Darius is planning to make him the head of the whole kingdom!  This leads him into the Lion’s Den moment because the men Darius placed under Daniel can’t stand him and are looking for some way to get rid of him.  I won’t recount the entire story, but I wanted you to notice something: as these people try to get rid of him, they have a problem; they can’t find anything to criticize or condemn him over…look at this.  

Daniel 6:4 Then the other administrators and high officers began searching for some fault in the way Daniel was handling government affairs, but they couldn't find anything to criticize or condemn. He was faithful, always responsible, and completely trustworthy. 5 So they concluded, "Our only chance of finding grounds for accusing Daniel will be in connection with the rules of his religion." NLT

What stands out to me in this story is who Daniel is.  He is faithful, always responsible, and trustworthy.  He is so authentic and filled with character that those who stand against him can’t find anything to pick at or attack.  Isn’t that amazing? 

Now let’s talk because I made a statement earlier that we need to revisit.  We were discussing how painful, messy, and frustrating life can be, but it doesn’t have to be.  We were saying a lot of things we probably aren’t all that willing to say out loud, especially at church, but it is a truth we must embrace if we want to thrive and not just survive in life.  Here it is: Every one of us has experienced pain, trauma, disappointments, and life-shaping moments.  These moments shape how we view things, our life experience, and build a version of us that needs to be dealt with, and if we do the work and invest into overcoming this wounded self, we can experience the version of ourselves God created us to experience, if we don’t do the work, well, life gets harder.  I want you to understand that every human being has stuff to deal with. Every human being lives and sees life through a lens shaped by their lives, which creates their version of reality. The problem is that it isn’t necessarily reality.  Our goal is to overcome our traumatic, painful pasts and live true lives, not false ones…and I want you to understand how important dealing with the wounded self and overcoming our trauma, pain, and fears in life is.  You can be a good person and still struggle with your inner self.  You can be a Christian who has accepted Jesus and not live a true and authentic life that is found in inner healing.  This is so important that we deal with our stuff and overcome the wounded self, so we can step into the actual life God created for us to live, but it’s tough, because life is tough, and so few do.  And we wonder why life and relationships are so hard and messy. 

So, look at Daniel’s life here.  Daniel has been through some severe trauma, pain, and brutality in his life, hasn’t he?  Doesn’t he have every excuse needed not to be the person God created him to be?  I mean, Babylon conquered his nation, and he was ripped from his family at 14 years old.  Forced into slavery and exiled to a hostile land.  Violence, persecution, intimidation all around him for his entire life, but none of it defines him.  Do you think he lost a few friends along the way?  Do you think he didn’t have seriously painful and emotional moments to work through?  Do you think he doesn’t have every excuse to check out on life and defend what is left of his heart?  Would anyone blame him for being a bitter, older person living in isolation, fear, and defeat?  It seems to be all that life has ever shown him!  Now here he is in his old age after surviving another invading empire, destroying another nation in front of him, and now those people want him dead and are pushing him into a Lion’s Den, as he serves those God places in authority over him.  It’s wild that he is described as faithful, honest, character-filled, because it seems to me a man who has walked through this much at 80 years old would have every right to be bitter, defeated, and angry, or not willing to show anyone the true version of himself, but not Daniel.  Daniel has overcome it all.  He isn’t stuck; he walks in victory, not defeat, and he is his true, authentic self. This guy’s life is hard.  No one would blame him for checking out and doing the least, or at least living a bit guarded from the world. Still, he thrives, succeeds, leads, and helps others (by the way, he is helping his captors—the very people who hurt him and forced the circumstances of his life). He helps, serves, honors them, and leads them to God.  This is huge because life is so painful and hard.

I have so much more to say on this, but we need to keep moving.  We want you to experience healing in your life. It’s such a passion for us here at MRC because we want you to experience your best life possible, and it just can’t happen if we don’t overcome our pain and live in our true selves.  It’s also a challenge because not everyone is willing to do the work and find healing that would allow them to put off the old self and step into the new.  I am going to give you three quotes today, and then we will revisit our questions from the beginning of the talk.

“Emotional health and spiritual maturity are inseparable. It is not possible to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature.” Pete Scazzero

“Self-care is never a selfish act-it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I was put on this Earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give it the stewardship it requires, we do not only do it for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.” Parker Palmer

“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed.  It means the damage no longer controls your life.” Shannon Alder

As we close today, let’s revisit the questions from earlier.  Have you ever wondered why Christians can be so opposite of the loving, peaceful, honest, and victorious people we read about in Scripture?  Have you ever been hurt or disappointed by someone in a Church environment?  Have you ever wondered why good, well-meaning, God-loving people seem to come together and struggle to be in community with one another?  Why does our faith life and relationships inside a Spiritual Family feel so disappointing, challenging, even painful?  I mean, Jesus says the Christian life is pretty simple, we are to love God and love others.  He tells us that following His teaching is easy and light…so why does this whole Christian thing feel so complicated and heavy?  Why is there so much pain in our most primary relationships in our lives, like with our parents, our children, and in our marriages? If we all love each other, why are these relationships hard, painful, and messy at times?

The reason all of these things are so messy is that each of us has experienced pain, trauma, disappointments, and moments that have shaped our lives.  We have to deal with this stuff; if we don’t, it shapes the lens through which we see and interpret life.  You could say it this way.  It makes a version of you that we could call “The Wounded Self,” and you drag it with you everywhere you go. Now, we may feel like this version of ourselves is just who we are, but it is not the version of ourselves that God created us to experience, and we don’t want to lie to ourselves or each other; we want to live as Paul says, taking off the old and putting on the new. 

Colossians 3:9-10 “Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.” NIV

Please take a moment to be honest with yourself today.  Have you overcome your pain and trauma like Daniel?  Are you living in the new, healed self, or are you still struggling with the wounded self?  If you aren’t sure, I have a few things that could help you today.

First, slow down and listen to your heart and mind.  We all have a running commentary going on in our hearts and minds, yet not many of us take the time to slow down and listen to what it is telling us.  If you are living in your true self, being renewed in Jesus, your inner voice will speak truth to you if you keep thinking thoughts like, “I’m not a good person. No one likes me. Things aren’t going to work out. I’m not worthy of love. No one hears me, gets me, respects me, or cares about me.”  It’s a great sign that the wounded self is shaping your reality.  We must hold our thoughts captive and listen to God’s loving truth about who we are, loved and valued by Him.

Second, take a moment to reflect on your relationships.  Are they close, loving, generous, and life-giving?  Are they filled with all that Scripture says those who love and invest in each other are experiencing with each other, or are they volatile, disappointing, and frustrating?  Listen, life with people isn’t easy, it will never be perfect, and in many ways, so don’t hear me say life with people has to be clean for it to be healthy.  But we must see this, life people are so essential because it reveals so much about ourselves to us.  We need people in our lives, as Solomon explained, (iron sharpens iron) we clash together, sharpening one another, we grow as we relate to each other, because we expose things in our lives that need dealt with.  Our relationships can help us understand if we are living in our true selves or stuck in the wounded version of ourselves.  And if you think about it, the closer a relationship, the more they will hit those things in your life that need to be addressed! The tension or exhaustion we face in those moments is that most of us don’t want to look at or address those things in our lives.  And something that always convicts me is that our relationship with others can reveal our relationship with God.

Third, slow down, and invite God into all aspects of your life.   There is just no way to find true inner healing without fully surrendering your life to God.  For so many people, they want enough of Jesus to get them into Heaven, but not enough of Him to disrupt their lives.  But it’s through the healing, redemptive power of God that we can rid ourselves of the old, and step into the new…it won’t happen any other way.  The more time you spend with Jesus, the more he will lovingly walk you to this confrontation in your life. The thing is, you have to make the decision to confront the old, wounded self…or not.  God won’t force you to make that choice, and many refuse to engage.

Finally, reach out.  If you are struggling through pain and trauma in your life and realizing that you are projecting that into your life, and it’s a struggle to experience all that life could be, please reach out. It is what we are here for!  We would love to help, guide, and support you, and we will do so to the best of our ability.  We can help you with tools that can guide you on your journey to achieving inner health, which is a process you will spend your entire life on, growing to be more like Christ each day, here in our short time on this Earth, as we prepare for eternity someday.

We are so passionate about your inner world, and we just aren’t willing to settle for a superficial, fake life and faith experience, because on the other side of the work of emotional and spiritual health is everything we want in life.  This work is so important because life is hard and we all experience pain and trauma in our lives, for some of us it becomes the reason we are stuck in life, for others it becomes the motivator to change, for all of us it’s pain that leads us to Jesus, but not all of us are willing to do the work of inner healing to experience our best life, to overcome like Daniel, it’s all about fully surrendering your life to God.  That means that your circumstances, and life experiences don’t define you, or shape your reality, or how you treat people of this world, God does.  This is what it truly means to thrive, not just survive in this world. We stop lying to one another, we rid ourselves of the old self, and step into the new.  Daniel had every reason to stay in the wounded self; instead, he experiences his best life, he thrived, and so can you.