This Christmas season, we looked at the many gifts we experience because Jesus is in our lives. Here at MRG, we should be finishing that series today with the gift of the Holy Spirit in our lives, but instead, with this being the first Sunday of the New Year, I want us to talk. It’s funny; I typically love speaking on the first Sunday of the New Year because it is such a hopeful time, a time of fresh starts, and a time to set new goals to be a better version of ourselves moving forward in our lives. That is important and exciting as we set out for a new version of ourselves in the new year. It’s also a great time to look back over the year that was as we turn the page into 2025. It’s interesting because as fired up as I always get to have these moments with you at the start of the New Year, I will be transparent with you today. I had a hard time writing this talk. My energy levels have been down a bit, and as I look back over my personal 2024. I can feel some relief, like…well, I’m still standing, but I can’t say I’m feeling a ton of inspiration from what was probably the most challenging and emotional year of my life, but here’s what is funny. It was intense, challenging, and emotional, but it was also a year with more answered prayer and personal growth than any other. As I prayed through where we would go today, I just kept thinking about all the highs and lows of 2024 and the intensity of many life situations and issues I have faced, and I know I’m not alone in that here in our Spiritual Family. We have walked through a lot this year. When I look back on the year that was, it’s hard to ignore those moments of pain, adversity, loss, or just fear and confusion; it was such a challenging year. And I thought, whew, you could be a real downer this Sunday if you review your year. Maybe just look ahead with everyone to the new year instead! But when I think about where I am because of how hard life is pushing in on me, I’m so grateful and have seen more growth this year than maybe ever before in my life. It’s funny, but that is life, isn’t it? Life is hard, challenging, and intense at times, and in all that life throws at us, all the pressure, stress, emotions, and ups and downs, one of two things takes place. We will either turn into God and grow and take steps towards being the person God created us to be, with more depth and strength for what we have walked through, or we will choose to turn away from God, quit on things, get angry or frustrated with Him, and turn back to living for ourselves. While this is a more popular decision, it never leads to your best life possible. It’s funny how pain and adversity sneak up on us Christians, even with warning after warning that it is coming for us in Scripture.
1 Peter 4:12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. NIV
Well, this leads into our discussion today, and I will start with a question that may be a little challenging to answer. Are you ready for it?
Could we be better for all that we walked through in life? Can we grow and learn and be stronger for all the challenges that this year has brought to the table?
Listen, I know that that was a difficult question for some of you because this year has brought so much pain and adversity to our lives. Because pain is painful, and none of us like it. Stress is stressful, and none of us want to live under that pressure. Challenges, broken dreams, unmet goals, none of it is fun, and it can sound insensitive or just not all that fun to discuss, but it is all part of life, and we need to talk about it. I also know that most of us get to the end of a difficult year like this, and we want to make our New Year Resolutions, set some new goals, and start over in 2025! I’m ready to turn the page, too, but it’s essential to look back and learn and grow from all we walk through. In many ways, the tough stuff we walk through leads us to fork-in-the-road moments, with us almost forced to choose one of two things…we grow, or we go! We either turn into God and are better for the stuff we walk through, or we turn away from God and run from things that, in the end, could lead to so much growth in our lives if we could push through and stay focused on God in the pain.
Have you ever noticed that someone who has walked through difficult things in their lives just seems to have a different perspective than someone who hasn’t? They have depth and strength, don’t they? If you have walked through big or painful things in life, you tend to have a different perspective than someone who hasn’t. So, when life inevitably hits again, you handle it. Small things stay small because you have worked through bigger things in the past. You are seasoned and strengthened by the adversity you face. But if you have never dealt with adversity, a little thing in life can feel enormous. Sometimes, we have to walk through pain to grow into people who can withstand life, deal with more, and truly live our best lives in this difficult world, which is something we know God wants for us! He wants you to experience your best life possible in your short time here on this Earth…which is hard to do in a world that throws so much at us! So, let me ask you another question. It’s one that no one wants to hear when they are in pain, frustrated, stressed out, overwhelmed, or dealing with adversity and challenges.
What if these moments hit our lives for a reason? What if these challenges were not roadblocks to keep us from moving forward but are actually opportunities to grow?
I can tell you when I’m struggling or in pain…the last thing I want to hear is that God may use these moments for good or that everything happens for a reason. I never want to hear it, but what if it’s true? Our Scriptures are clear: God, our Heavenly Father, wants us to grow up. Listen to Jesus’ words here in His famous Sermon on The Mount!
Matthew 5:48 “In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.” MSG
Scripture has many places that point to this and help us see that we, God’s children, are to grow up into Spiritual Adulthood. This is a big deal…but shouldn’t we get a pass on that when life is hard? I mean, the Bible couldn’t mean that I’m to grow through times of pain, sickness, political volatility, loss, financial challenges, and so many questions about the future. I mean, I’m all for growing up, but it’s tough to do in times when life is so hard…wouldn’t you agree? Can we say it? Can we grow as people through these tough times? Through all the adversity, pain, fear, pressure, and confusion that we are walking in on a daily basis? Well, you may not want to hear this, but the answer is a resounding YES. I’m not sure we learn and grow any other way. I wish there was a better way for God to get our attention, but it seems to take pain to get there. I wish there was a better teacher than experience, but hindsight is always our clearest sight, isn’t it? It stinks at times, but we just need to feel it. We can’t take your word for it! I will tell you personally, and sometimes, unfortunately, pain has been the best teacher in my life. This is what we are diving into today. I know it’s a challenging conversation, but it is weighing on my heart to press in on this idea that we can grow and be better during the tough times we walk through. From what I see about adversity and pain, it forces movement of some kind, and as people, we will make one of two decisions. We will grow, or we will go.
So now I’m going to do it. We are going to turn to James now and read the verse that no one likes to hear while walking through trials in their lives…
James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. NIV
I know this is the last thing we want to hear while dealing with life’s challenges. And I will tell you that I don’t find pure joy in my pain and the challenges life throws at me, but this is a big deal…once again, Scripture tells us something about growing in adversity. Check out the same Scripture this time in the NLT…
James 1:2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. NLT
I really like that “consider it an opportunity…” We will return to that later in this talk, but once again, we see how we become mature and complete, not lacking anything. It happens as we walk through difficulties and challenges and see them as opportunities to grow closer to God and into the people He created us to be, mature and complete…not lacking anything! But we must lean into the challenges and see them as the opportunities they are! We have to choose to grow, not go!
So, if you are hanging in there with me to this point, you may be thinking to yourselves, “How? Sam, how do I grow when life is so hard? I’m exhausted. I’m living under so much pressure, and I’m not inspired to grow; I just want a break from the craziness of life! Is it even possible to grow up like Scripture says through these challenges in life?” The short answer is yes. But it starts with some intentionality on our part. When walking through trials in our lives, our instincts often are to be frustrated and pull away from life and sometimes God. We get angry as we watch our best-laid plans crumble right in front of us. We know what life should look like in our minds…and when it doesn’t go the way we would like, it’s hard not to get depressed or angry, and it leaves us tempted just to quit. I would challenge you to think through any concept or purpose that God may have for you in the spot you feel stuck in. I know that may sound insensitive to your pain or stress or like I’m just not able to see how challenging your life is, but we need to push through the pain and frustration and ask these questions, all of which help us see that God may have a greater purpose in mind. This is so important, and while we don’t like hearing it, we must understand what God can use and will use to help us grow. However, in many ways, the biggest blocker from growth isn’t what you are walking through. It is you. We so often choose to go instead of grow, and while God can do anything He wants, I’m just going to say this: you have to make the choice to allow Him to do a work in you. Are you ready for the questions? We will start at the gentler end and gradually add some intensity to these questions. Are you ready?
Could God be trying to get my attention through what I’m walking through? This is an important question to ask ourselves in challenging moments. So often, we humans are reactive. We don’t see things coming. So, when life hits hard, it typically sneaks up on us in ways Peter tried to warn us earlier; we never think through what God may be up to or if He wants our minds on Him. This is where it starts when we are hurting and life hits hard. Could God be trying to get my attention through this tough time in my life?
Could this challenge be God helping me see how much I need Him? We humans are very confident in our strength and ability to push through things; we would call that pride, and we all need it squeezed out of us to grow into this understanding of how much we need God in our lives. Paul often spoke of this thorn in his flesh. Did you ever read his words on that?
2 Corinthians 12:7 …So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. NLT
That thorn in his flesh kept Paul humble and constantly reminded him of how much he needed God in his life. His trials and adversity reminded him of his need for God. He understood where true strength comes from as he leaned on God in his weakness, and so should we. So, be honest: when life hits and the pressure mounts, do those difficulties drive you into God, or do you pull away from Him? As we walk through difficulty, we must ask ourselves if we are trying to push through things in our strength and understand that God uses these moments to help us grasp how much we need Him. What did we see Paul say there in verse 10?
2 Corinthians 12:10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. NIV
There it is again, someone else delighting in hardships, persecution, difficulty, and weakness! Trials and challenges squeeze out our pride; these difficult moments help us remember we are weak, but God is strong. As long as we choose to lean into Him.
Could I be walking through this to be drawn closer to God and love others better? We know that our ultimate goal as Christians is to do two things. It’s to love God and to love others. Jesus told us it’s the most important thing we can do.
Matthew 22:37 Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ 38 This is the most important, the first on any list. 39 But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ 40 These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.” MSG
So, we have already asked some questions that can lead us to that first peg of loving God and being drawn to Him through these difficult times, crushing our pride and leading us towards a greater dependence on Him. But a major part of growing up is understanding that we aren’t the only people on the planet! We are to love God AND others, and I want you to consider this. When we walk through pain, challenges, and adversity, it can help us love others well. Think about it: as you walk through challenges and pain, it helps you understand others’ pain. It hopefully removes pride from your life, giving you empathy and patience for people as they walk through similar things. Hopefully, as life hits you, it helps you to place yourself in their shoes. This is what a disciple of Christ does every day as they walk through life, wanting others to experience the joy, hope, love, healing, and forgiveness they are experiencing through Jesus! Walking through tough times can give us empathy and compassion, which probably doesn’t happen if we aren’t walking through stuff, and we know that in the end, our ability to love others, even those who are hard to love, is the measure of our Spiritual Lives.
So, how are you doing so far? I’m asking you that right now because these next two questions can be a little more challenging. I want you to breathe and think through this with me.
Could God be allowing me to deal with these challenges in life because He loves me? Are you doing ok with that one? I want you to understand something: God isn’t enjoying your pain. He is a loving father and wants you to have all the comfort and protection that you need, just as any father wants for their child…but a father also knows at some level their children must walk through things in life, and while it hurts me as a dad to watch my children struggle, I know they need to push through and grow in those tough moments…it’s hard to watch, it’s hard not to jump in and intervene at times and quite frankly, I’m still learning to discern that as a dad and now a grandfather. But if you think through those feelings as a parent, imagine being God, watching us struggle, and allowing us the free will to choose to grow or go as we walk through things! Our Heavenly Father loves us and hurts when we hurt. God knows the whole story that is unfolding for us, and He knows the purposes He has created for our lives. God loves us enough to allow things to happen that may not necessarily line up with our plans but always line up with His. I truly believe that, at times, He has to protect us from ourselves. I don’t know how that registers in your brain today, but I know my life at times needs to reroute from a plan that made so much sense to me…and when it was rerouted, it felt more like a derailment than loving guidance…until I could look back on it later and understand what God was up to…trusting is so hard in those moments, but what if God loves me so much that I have to walk through what I’m walking through to protect, develop, and guide me towards the person He wants me to be?
Could God know exactly what I need to live out my God-given purpose? I don’t know about you, but I know what I think life should look like! I know what my family should look like. I know what our churches should look like. I know what my relationships with others should look like…but it is interesting how often none of those things look like what I want them to look like. When I slow myself down and think about it, while it may not look like I want, things always look like what God wants them to look like. That fact doesn’t make things easier or more comfortable, but things happen for a reason. His reasons. Listen to what Paul says here in Romans 8…
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. NIV
In all things, God works for the good of those who love Him and have been called to His purpose! So, included in “all things” would be the good, warm, and comfortable times in life…but also included in the “all things” would be tests, challenges, and painful moments, too. All of which God is using for good in those who love Him, moving us towards our God-given purpose! What a powerful thought. I wonder if you can get there and buy into that as you walk through tough times. It is tough to watch our goals and dreams fall flat or get crushed, but we have to get to a place where we understand that God is in control, and pushing and fighting for control of things we do not control is exhausting. You can’t control what you don’t control. Every year, in the more challenging or overwhelming moments of my life, I seem to have a verse that I lean in on. This past year, I have come back to this particular Psalm. It’s short and sweet but just helps me reset when I need it.
Psalms 116:7 I said to myself, relax, because the Lord takes care of you. NCV
When I get too overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, or depressed, things seem to fall apart or don’t look like what I want them to look like, so I try to come back to that verse and take a few deep breaths. Relax because the Lord takes care of you. It helps me calm down; it reminds me that God has always watched over me, even when I felt afraid, stressed, overwhelmed, or just hurting, wondering if the pain would let up. It’s a great reminder of His love and goodness and helps me remember I’m not running the show He is, and none of this is sneaking up on Him!
Life is hard, and we walk through so many challenges and so much pain…those hurts and stressors and the tensions you feel are so real…but in all of it, we must understand those moments are so important and force us to make a decision. We will either choose to grow, or we will choose to go…it’s tough because it’s tempting to quit and not lean into the challenges life throws at us, but we must press on! When we lean into it, we grow, learn, and are better for all of it. When (not if but when) you are walking through those painful moments, you need to think some things through. Remember, Scripture tells us that the painful stuff that hits our lives shouldn’t shock or sneak up on us. We know it is coming. It will come. So, we need to be ready for these critical but painful moments. Your instincts will be to pull away from the pain, but my challenge for you is not to run from it but to turn into it and grow. No one likes the tough stuff, but we must think it through.
Our Heavenly Father wants us (His Children) to grow, and Scripture is so clear that adversity helps us grow. These challenges can deepen our faith in God, so let’s reflect on some Scripture as we close.
1 Peter 1:6 So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. 7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. NLT
These challenges can also change us from the inside out because of God pouring His love into us.
Romans 5:3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. NIV
I know I have thrown a lot of Scripture at you today. As I put this talk together, I realized it’s very good scripture but challenging to receive as we walk through difficult times! And what do we know about life? Tough times are coming, and we can be better for them. Scripture is so clear that we can grow through life’s challenges and should be growing through them! But I want to make one thing very clear. Your mindset and perspective go a long way toward your being able to learn and grow through life’s challenges. We will face adversity, and we will make one of two choices: we will either grow or go. We will either learn into God or pull away from Him, just looking for some temporary relief from our pressures and pain. I told you earlier I wanted to return to James’ words in the NLT because there is a phrasing there that we need to grab hold of…
James 1:2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. NLT
The word “opportunity” really stands out to me, and it leads to a mindset that we must have if we want to grow through these challenging times. We need to view the trials of life as opportunities. Can you view adversity in your life that way? Most of us see it as a roadblock rather than an opportunity. It’s the thing in our way that won’t allow things to go how we want…but what if we began to view these challenges as opportunities to overcome rather than things blocking us from what we want?
So, as we close this conversation down, here are a few more questions to help you personalize this because it’s so important for our growth and development; let’s think this all through. What is your mindset here? Do you view the trials and challenges of life as opportunities or blockers in your life? Before we move forward into 2025, it’s worth looking back over 2024. What tough stuff did you walk through? How did you respond to it? Did you learn anything from it? Are you better for it? Now, I would like you to look ahead to 2025. We know challenges and issues will arise. The question isn’t if tough moments will come. The question becomes, how will we choose to view those moments, and how will we respond to them? Will you grow, or will you go?