Have you ever been around a person who just makes you feel better about yourself? Every time you are with them you walk away from them with more energy, and just feeling good? Have you ever stopped and thought about why that person makes you feel so much better about yourself? I wonder what characteristics we would begin to list out about this person, think about it for a moment. Everyone of our lists would have some common characteristics on it. We would probably all say they are very positive people. They listen well. We feel connected to them and like they genuinely care about us. We could say they are just so down to earth, compassionate, and fun. But if I were to sum it up, the thing that this person does well, is makes us feel valued or like we matter. They have a way of seeing and valuing you, don’t they? Which frankly, in the world you and I live in today, that is pretty rare! Can I tell you something? I think what we are seeing and feeling in this person is something we call humility. So let me ask another question.
Have you ever been around a person who just makes you feel tired and empty and like less when you are around them? It can get so bad that when we see them around town or in the store, we think, oh no. I think we all have people like this in our lives as well. Have you ever stopped and thought about why that person makes you feel tired and like less? I think we could make our lists and once again find some common characteristics for these types of people in our lives as well. We would say they take from us, or that we never feel heard, or that the relationship is one-sided and that we just dread our time with them because we never feel a connection. We never feel like we matter, and we walk away tired and feeling like less. This person just can’t see or feel you in any way or even fathom that you have things going on in your life too. We all have people like this in our lives, don’t we? We could call this person obtuse, or shallow, maybe insecure comes to mind but at its core I think what we are seeing is something we call selfishness and or prideful. So, let me ask you one more question as you picture these people in your mind and this one might be a little more challenging to answer and think about.
Which type of person are you? Are you someone who brings life and energy to people and makes people feel valued and better about themselves because they are in a relationship with you, or are you someone who leaves people feeling tired, empty, and like less when they spend time with you? Have you ever stopped and thought about how people may describe you or what you are bringing to relationships with those around you? I will tell you if you have stopped and thought about it, it probably tells you which type of person you are…and frankly if you have never stopped and considered other people in the relationships you are in…well, that is also letting you know which type of person you are in your relationships as well! One of these types of people can see people, understands and values others, and walks in humility…and the other is the exact opposite, it’s the person who is so self-focused and prideful that they can’t see others, and value others because everything is about “me.” And this is exactly what we are diving into today as we continue our study of Philippians that we are calling The Ultimate Guide to Life & Love.
I want you to think back over the last two weeks for a moment, because we have moved into the second chapter of Philippians and if you remember I told you we would end up spending 3 or 4 weeks in just the first few verses of Philippians 2. That should probably tell you just how important this section of Scripture is to us, and I have to say that I think the challenges and lessons we are learning here from Paul, are so perfectly timed for the world and culture that you and I live in today. So, you could call this a 3 or 4 part ‘mini-series’ inside our bigger series, on relationships and how we treat each other. So, let’s read this whole section again, it’s just so good. We often read this to you in the Message, but let’s hang out for a bit in the NIV.
Philippians 2:1 If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. NIV
If you remember two weeks ago, we hung out in those first two verses and talked about this idea of being united with Christ and walking in relationship with each other. Unity was the theme. We focused on this incredible challenge that comes up often in Scripture, that we people, with all our differences, and all our different personalities, tastes, perspectives and giftings are to walk together in unity, we are to be of one mind, and one purpose. Do you remember how we focused on verse 2, and just how challenging this can be?
Philippians 2:2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. NLT
While this sounds impossible in the divisive times that we live in, it’s more than possible when we focus on the common ground that we all share rather than the differences that we all have. The world jams our differences down our throats, but God wants us focused on what we all have in common. The common ground is Jesus! Then last week Ken continued this study walking us into verse three which said this…
Philippians 2:3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. NLT
Ken talked to us last week, really focusing us on something that is very prevalent in our world and culture today, do you remember what he was talking about? He was talking about selfishness and pride. Which are really hard to see in our lives and he was helping us identify selfishness and deal with it! It was such an awesome talk where he dove into 5 traits of selfishness, as he was talking last week, it gave us a chance to personalize this and see it in our lives. Now today, we continue looking at verse 3 we will slide into verse 4 some too, looking at this idea of the importance of humility in our lives, and the challenges we face, and I like the way the NIV points it out with selfish ambition, pride, humility, and whose interests we should look to.
Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. NIV
So, remember those two people we were picturing in our minds earlier in the talk, well Paul seems to be able to describe them very well here in just two sentences. Last week we really dove into selfishness, but I did want to come back to that for a moment as we keep building into this study. We are to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, which is pride. Selfish ambition is something we must really be careful of in our world today because frankly, it is encouraged, as an important trait to work your way to success by the world’s standards. So, what does it mean? Well, when we do things out of selfish ambition it means that we are going to get ahead in life, or reach a personal goal by any means necessary, and often at the cost of those around us. We will use any means necessary to get where we are going which typically involves tearing others down or just having no regard for those around us as we strive towards what we want in life. Can I ask you? Is this frowned upon in our world today? I would say in many different areas from our professional lives, to sports, even sadly in some churches and different types of organizations it’s not frowned upon but in some ways, it is applauded or rewarded with titles and positions. I want you to see this, if I seek gain for myself at your expense, I’m guilty of selfish ambition. It’s an attitude of “I’m gonna do what’s best for me even if it costs you.” You can see why Paul warned against this. So, let’s look practically at some real-life situations for a moment. I will even give you a warning phrase, that if you hear it you should watch out and look to protect yourself from selfish ambition and pride. At work, if I’m cut-throat, and manipulating and trampling over others, using unethical tactics to get ahead at the expense of others, I’m working out of selfish ambition. This person will say they are driven, that it isn’t personal, it’s just business, and that they are simply providing for their family, and striving to reach a goal.” When you hear that, watch out! Here’s another one, with four teenagers I have spent a lot of time around youth sports, which I like to say is an amazing case study in human behavior…but one of the things you hear often around the sports fields from parents is this phrase. “Hey, I am a parent first.” When you hear that watch out, it means they will hurt you, the coach, the leaders of the organization, and use all of it in any way possible to get what they want for their child…and then sleep well at night over, regardless of who they hurt, because they can justify it as good parenting. If selfish ambition is prevalent in a church, there certainly won’t be unity. We see this often, and there are many warning signs of this around church and religion as people want time in front of leaders, or with microphones in front of people, or they want prominent or what they view as important leadership spots while never having any real interest in serving or pointing people to Christ, and there are plenty of warning phrases we could talk about, but at church we often see this coming out in an inability to serve without endless facetime with leaders, or a disinterest in serving in ways that seem beneath how important they would like to be, or just an inability to submit to leadership and hear and get in step with the church vision and mission at large, when we see these things, we need to watch out. It might seem obvious, but pride is at the root of selfish ambition. And if we’re promoting ourselves instead of Christ, we’re not going to experience unity inside the church or anywhere really. This is why Jesus seemed to always push in on the religious leaders of that time with warnings about pride and selfishness. Do you think it’s ironic that he was constantly pushing in on the church people and leaders of that time on this particular subject of selfish ambition and pride? One of my favorite moments where Jesus pushes in on them is found here in Luke 18…
Luke 18:9 Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own righteousness and scorned everyone else: 10 “Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: ‘I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else. For I don’t cheat, I don’t sin, and I don’t commit adultery. I’m certainly not like that tax collector! 12 I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.’ 13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, ‘O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.’ 14 I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” NLT
An incredible moment for sure, two people on opposite sides of the spectrum here, and the warning is clear…the prideful will be humbled and those who humble themselves will be exalted! Jesus does this often with the religious leaders…remember the big confrontation in Matthew 23 it ends with that exact same phrasing about who will be exalted and who will be humbled.
Matthew 23:2 “The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses. 3 So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach. 4 They crush people with impossible religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden. 5 “Everything they do is for show. On their arms they wear extra wide prayer boxes with Scripture verses inside, and they wear robes with extra long tassels. 6 And they love to sit at the head table at banquets and in the seats of honor in the synagogues. 7 They love to receive respectful greetings as they walk in the marketplaces, and to be called ‘Rabbi.’…11 The greatest among you must be a servant. 12 But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. NLT
Can’t imagine why the religious leaders would get angry with Jesus! There are so many other warnings we could turn to in Scripture, but let’s stay focused on this concept. We are to do nothing out of selfishness or pride, but to walk into a life of humility. This is where relationships come together and leads us back into the theme of this section of Scripture, unity with God and others through Jesus Christ.
So, let’s talk about what it means to be humble. If I asked you what it means to be humble how would you answer that? I think for some people they may picture a humble person as someone who is quiet, maybe shy, that isn’t very flashy. Let me ask you this, when you think of someone who is humble do you picture them being weak or strong? Do you picture a humble person as someone who is healthy, walking integrity in their boundaries and priorities or someone who is a bit of a pushover? Is it someone who thinks they are less of a person than someone else? We could think that way from this right?
Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. NIV
So, what does that mean, that in humility we consider others better than ourselves? Is a humble person a pushover with a low self-esteem? Are they weak and timid? Culture may say that, but I would say they are the opposite of those things that many equate with humility…to be humble is to be strong, it’s to have enough strength and self-assurance to not have to compete, manipulate and self-promote. It’s to take our focus off of ourselves and to help and value others. This is where unity comes from and this is how we are to live…and I want you to remember, Paul doesn’t just preach this! This is part of the victorious mindset that he models for us. We actually saw this in Chapter one where Paul explained to us that he was choosing to celebrate others and build them up rather than choosing the route of comparing and competing with them? He is showing us humility and the result of it in his own life.
Philippians 1:15 It’s true that some are preaching out of jealousy and rivalry. But others preach about Christ with pure motives. 16 They preach because they love me, for they know I have been appointed to defend the Good News. 17 Those others do not have pure motives as they preach about Christ. They preach with selfish ambition, not sincerely, intending to make my chains more painful to me. 18 But that doesn’t matter. Whether their motives are false or genuine, the message about Christ is being preached either way, so I rejoice. And I will continue to rejoice. NLT
Think about this, Paul is in prison, and he let us know that there are people out there competing with him, and it sounds like they are actually preaching out of selfish ambition and getting ahead at Paul’s expense…but Paul makes the choice to celebrate them and build them up rather than getting into all that comes with competing and tearing into each other for selfish gain. Which doesn’t help anyone. What good would come of that? Try to place yourself in Paul’s shoes, stuck in prison…while others are working to get out ahead of him at his expense…his humility calms this whole thing down rather than causing more drama. Think of the peace and unity this builds rather than the restlessness and divisiveness that selfish ambition creates. I think Paul really has something here, and I want you to see this…while pride and selfish ambition have this mindset that says I’m going to do what is best for me even if it costs you. Paul is saying something here in these two verses that I want you to see.
Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. NIV
We need to understand two things and if we get them, we can live this out. First, we need to understand that God does it all, we don’t. A lesson I’m always needing a reminder on for sure! The second thing is something you hear a lot around MRC, and that is that other people exist…it’s not about you! We all know people who walk in selfishness and live by the motives of selfish ambition and pride, but Paul is showing us that God wants us to do the opposite. For us, in the world that we live in today it is really challenging to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit…I want you to think about that for a moment. You live in a world that pushes us towards selfishness. It’s a learned behavior we walk in daily. Did you watch the Super Bowl the other day, and take notice of the people in the stands? Did anyone not have a cell phone up the whole time? We spend thousands of dollars to go to a game so other people can watch the game through our phones and we can show them what we are doing that they are not! I often am amazed at that; do they even watch the game or are they just worried about who knows that they were there! Social media is a world we spend a ton of time in. I saw a stat the other day that over 80% of social media is people talking about themselves. I guess we don’t call it a “selfie” for no reason…but think about the hours and hours we spend on social media, and the message is shallow and selfish, isn’t it? This is our culture today…it’s about me, while God wants the opposite for us as people. When I think about this world of social media, and “me” focus, it’s hard to not think of Solomon’s words here…
Proverbs 18:2 A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. NIV
This is so true and think about those words of wisdom as we live in this world of Facebook, and social media today! We need to see this, and listen to the countless warnings in Scripture about selfish ambition, and start to wrap our hearts and minds around what Paul is saying here, because it is the remedy to selfishness and pride in our lives…
Philippians 2:1 If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care — 2 then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. 3 Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. 4 Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. MSG
Do you see it? The way to build into people and walk as a disciple of Christ, is to put yourself aside and help others get ahead. It’s to love, serve, and value others. This is humility. This is how we refresh our souls and gain energy; we humbly serve and bring strength to people. Check this out…
Proverbs 11:25 The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. NLT
For so many of us we picture humility as weakness…which couldn’t be further from the truth…to be humble is to be strong and focused on God’s love to a level that it flows out of us into others! We see and value others and bring our strength to them rather than tearing them down…
Romans 15:1 Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. 2 Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, “How can I help?” MSG
Society says that the focus of my life, and my energy should be on me! On my happiness, my comfort, my wants, my dreams, my desires. I should promote myself, make my own brand, and make sure everyone knows of my greatness. And we wonder why we live in such divisive times as billions of us fight for ourselves. Scripture says this is what it will look like when we live out of selfish ambition!
James 3:13 If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. 15 For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. 16 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. 18 And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. NLT
Do you see what we are getting at here today? Do you see any parallels from this Scripture and the world we live in today? It’s incredible isn’t it. All through Scripture we are told to love, to serve, to see others, and remember that in the end it just isn’t about you. We see warning after warning about pride and selfish ambition, and we see challenge after challenge to center on Christ and live in His strength and to humbly serve. Humility is all through our Bibles and is literally right there as a major characteristic of Godliness. We are called to be humble followers of Christ and trust in the wisdom and salvation of God this isn’t for the weak or the faint of heart, this is for those who gain and draw strength from God. One of the biggest challenges of our faith is defeating pride and walking in this humility that allows us to do the very thing that God calls us to do which is love Him and love others. That’s really the challenge we see here from Paul that is found all through Scripture…
Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. NIV
So, as we close, let me ask you a few questions and we will start going back to how those three questions we asked at the beginning of this talk today do you remember?
- Are you the kind of person that builds up, and brings life and energy to others or do you take life and energy from others?
- Are you the kind of person that walks into a church, your workplace, or team, or any environment and sees what you can bring to that environment to help build into it, or do you see what you can take from that environment?
- Do you wonder why it isn’t what you want or need it to be or do you see these environments as opportunities that God has given you to bring your strength to and help out?
- Would you say your relationships are one sided? Meaning they are all about you or do you see the value of those God has placed in your life?
- When you think about humility do you equate it with strength? Or weakness?
- When you hear our church is not about you…how does that hit your heart? Do you grasp what that means? Or do you hear that nod your head yes while wondering what is in it for you?
- Do you find yourself in a lot of peaceful moments and relationships or in the middle of drama and fighting all the time? If it’s peaceful, this may be a good sign of humility in your life, if it’s drama filled, odds are there is selfish ambition still at play.
Listen, we love you and we want you to see it, all through Scripture we will see warnings of pride and selfishness, and challenges to love, serve, and bring our strength to others just as Jesus did for us…
Philippians 2:1 If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care — 2 then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. 3 Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. 4 Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. MSG