How do you know if you have a broken heart? Your emotions, or lack of emotions, are the best indicator of a broken heart. There are other possible indicators. You have hidden addictions and habits. You are too busy to enjoy life. You lack the ability to prioritize God, marriage, family and work. Living for you is like living in a fog. You don’t meet with God much. Primarily, the best way to know if you have a broken heart is through your emotions.
The Sovereign LORD has filled me with his Spirit. He has chosen me and sent me to bring good news to the poor, to heal the broken-hearted, to announce release to captives and freedom to those in prison. 2 He has sent me to proclaim that the time has come when the LORD will save his people and defeat their enemies. GNT Isaiah 61:1-2 Did you see that part? …He sent me to heal the broken-hearted… Jesus was talking about me. He was talking about you. He came to heal our broken hearts. He came to HEAL us. It’s bigger than forgiving you for your sin. It’s bigger than fire insurance.
Your emotions will tell you what is going on with your soul. It’s like physical pain. When you experience physical pain, your body is telling you that there is something wrong with your body. That’s what emotions do. It’s like the dash board lights in your car. When the yellow gas light comes on, you need gas. When the red check engine light comes on, something is wrong with the engine. Your emotions are indicators of what is really going on in your heart, your soul.
Sometimes, a heart can be busted up and no emotion comes out. That normally means, the person finds it easier to ignore the pain rather than deal with it. It is most common with guys. Guys have tried to do the right thing. They feel like they are a responsible guy, husband or dad. They do all the right things, they feel beaten up at work, told they aren’t good spiritual leaders at home, they feel very very tired. That will smash a guys heart and instead of dealing with it, they ignore that damage.
When you ignore your emotions, you become mechanical and your approach life as a list of tasks. That means, you will view life as a to-do list. It will be easy to bang out a list of things to do. But, it will be hard for you to connect with how others feel. It will be hard for you to connect with God. It’s normally a sign, your heart is busted up and you are ignoring it. You pay the bills and mow the lawn and feel the weight of the world on your shoulders.
Real quickly. Most guys hear me say things like, Jesus, Healing, Emotions and think, “I’m good.” They check out because when we talk about emotions, this is a chick discussion. Here is the truth about guys: Guys are just as emotional as women, sometimes even more. They just show their emotions differently.
Guys, hear me when I tell you this. This talk about Jesus healing your wounded heart isn’t me trying to get you to be a girl, its Jesus looking into your heart saying, “You’re busted up and you need My help.”
This isn’t about trying to get you to cry. It’s about understanding why you do what you do.
What do we do to heal a busted up or bruised heart? What do you do when emotions or your lack of emotions come out? How do you allow Jesus in to heal your heart? Before I share this with you, I have to tell you something. It took me years, actually decades to figure this out. In High School and College, I ran from God. I had this huge inner drive to live life my way. Completely unaware of the fact that I was deeply wounded and full of pride. In my 20’s I was in denial. I was living life on my terms but I couldn’t understand why I was so miserable. I was deeply wounded and full of pride and miserable. In my 30’s I began to learn. I discovered how badly damaged I was and how full of pride I was. I am still learning today, how to be healed by Jesus.
What do we do to heal a busted up or bruised heart? What do you do when emotions like anger, anxiety, depression or your lack of emotions come out? Read scripture. Why? Truth in our minds, leads to freedom. 1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship. 2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. NIV Romans 12:1-2
When you don’t know the truth, it’s like being afraid of a bully and not realizing your big brother is behind you.
The Lie or the bully say, “Your identity, your value, comes from what you do or have done.” What that lie does. It makes you feel like you are a failure, you are never good enough. You think you must work harder at being holy so that God will like you more. Do you see the pain that leads to? It’s the bully that makes you feel like a failure.
Scripture that tells us the truth. 4 If you’re a hard worker and do a good job, you deserve your pay; we don’t call your wages a gift. 5 But if you see that the job is too big for you, that it’s something only God can do, and you trust him to do it – you could never do it for yourself no matter how hard and long you worked – well, that trusting-him-to-do-it is what gets you set right with God, by God. Sheer gift. MSG Romans 4:4-5
The Truth or your big brother behind you says, “Your identity comes from what Christ has done.” What the truth does. I enter the day knowing that being holy is too big of a job for me. I need God. So every day I can relax and know that God did it for me. It frees me to walk into the day celebrating what God did for me. It’s like my big brother scared off the bully.
Reading scripture, trains the brain. A lot of the wounds people have are from people no knowing the truth.
Forgive. Why? It pull the hurt out of your heart so you can live life. 22 Then he took a deep breath and breathed into them. “Receive the Holy Spirit,” he said. 23 “If you forgive someone’s sins, they’re gone for good. If you don’t forgive sins, what are you going to do with them?” MSG John 20:22-23
When you don’t forgive others, that hurt stays in your heart and damages you. When you don’t forgive, it’s like drinking poison and hoping the other person will get hurt.
The problem with life is sin. What sin does is it damages, it hurts your heart. You will be hurt in life and that hurt, if you don’t do something about it, that hurt will stay in our hearts and it will lead you heart disease like being bitter, a victim, jealous, etc. God gave us the ability to pull that hurt out of our hearts. It’s called forgiveness. When we forgive, we pull the hurt out of our hearts and it doesn’t control us anymore.
Three people you must forgive. Yourself. Others. God.
Get Away with God. Why? Because God can heal you. 6 God sets himself against the proud, but he shows favor to the humble. 7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you. NLT James 4:6-8
You can go to your room and be alone with God. Pray and invite God into that moment and ask God, “What is going on with me, why is my heart busted up?” In that time, write down, journal what is on your mind and how you are feeling.
“I invite you into this moment within me. Please come into my life as my savior. My emotions are coming out and I don’t feel like I can control them. [Or: My lack of emotions are coming out and I treat people like a ‘to do’ list and I don’t want to be that person.] What is going on with me? I give you total access to my heart to heal me.
Forgive me for any way that I have mishandled my emotions [identify them here, pray them here].
Forgive me for any sin that I committed [identify them here, pray them here].
Please cleanse my heart of every sin with the shed blood of Jesus.
I confess that I am a son or daughter of Christ. I confess I am loved by God. I confess that according to scripture, I am the righteousness of God. I confess, according to scripture, Jesus has paid my penalty for sin, the hammer fell on Jesus so that it would not fall on me. I declare that I am free.
Reveal to me all that is going on here. What is this about, Jesus? Come and show me, meet me here, in this place.” – Begin journaling what you are thinking and feeling.
What is life like for you? Has your glass been shattered or have you allowed Jesus to heal you?