God didn’t create Adam and Eve, leave the garden, come back surprised. “You did what?” “How did you figure that out?” “Oh, who knew you could do that?” Sex is a gift from God. But, because of our wounds, our pride, our selfishness, we take God’s gift and turn it into a curse and wound each other with it. The thing God created to bring us together becomes the thing that drives us a part. We refuse to serve our spouse in sex and send a message to them, “I reject you.” What does the Bible say about all this?
1 Corinthians 7:1-6 Vs 1 Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? 2 Certainly – but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband.
Sex is a good thing… in the right context. What is the context? Between a man and a woman for life. Regardless of the vote, the feeling, most recent blog, marriage is between a man and a woman for life. Any other definition of marriage is not supported by God or scripture. All sex outside of this context is a sin – only leads to damage, shame and wounds. Heterosexual sin , Homosexual sin, any other activity outside of this context, is sin. God creates marriage, places sex inside of marriage and tells us, it works best in marriage. It’s holy, it’s right. What do we do with sex in our culture? We take it out of marriage and treat it like ‘it’s not big deal.’ The result? People walk in guilt and shame.
Paul continues, 1 Corinthians 7:1-6 Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder.
The Bible actually talks about your sex drive. Sex drives were created by God and are very powerful. That’s why God created marriage. Specific to your spouse’s sex drive. Sex protects your spouse. So you’re not into it, your spouse probably is. The more sex you enjoy, the more balanced and fulfilled your spouse is and the more protected your spouse is. The less sex you enjoy, the more out of balance and the less protected is your spouse is.
Specific to your sex drive. You can walk down the path of having adultery of the heart. How? Magazines from any store. Maxim to Sports Illustrated swim suit issue to any woman’s magazine. All of it is teasing you to pull away from your spouse to focus on fantasy. That’s why it sells.
1 Corinthians 7:1-6 Vs 3 The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality – the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. 4 Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out.
When you are married, it’s a mutual relationship. Husbands going out of their way to satisfy his wife. Wives going out of their way to satisfy her husband. Are you doing this? Or are you doing the least possible? You can go to church, but that doesn’t mean you are living out scripture. The excuses you are throwing up now in your mind, they are just that, excuses. Your body is no longer your own. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” It’s a choice to serve your spouse.
1 Corinthians 7:1-6 Vs 5 Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting – but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. 6 I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence – only providing my best counsel if you should choose them. MSG
Going long periods of time without sex without both agreeing to it, is wrong. Are you the control person? You probably need to check your heart. Again, you can go to church, that doesn’t mean you are living out scripture.
So what is sex to you? Is it your what you worship? Does it define you? Is it gross? Something you must control or ignore? Is it a gift from God to enjoy? If people who say ‘sex is my God,’ that means sex is their identity and it dominates every aspect of their life. They worship sex. Sex is their identity. Not Jesus, sex.
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice – the kind he will accept. NLT Romans 12:1-2
What do you worship? Who decides how you live?