We are in a conversation on relationships called The Unavoidable Adventure: Life with People, where we are learning to live and love well.  And as we close out the month of November, I keep wondering how many of us thought this series would go in the direction it did.  When we hear that we are in a conversation about relationships and how to love others well, the assumption is that we will talk about other people, or at the very least, we will get some new tips and techniques to get along with people with as little tension as possible.  Which makes sense, so it may have snuck up on you that we are not focusing on others but on our own lives.  This is so important.  We can’t live and love well without addressing our own heart conditions and finding inner healing and freedom from our hurts, pasts, and upbringings.  Those things have a massive impact on our lives and how we relate to others.  And hey, I will say it, this isn’t for the faint of heart.  It is intense but essential because, as we grow, heal, and mature in Christ, we can see ourselves, others, and life in a new and healthy way. 

Over the past few weeks, Ken and I have been discussing how your origin story influences your life.  We have looked at the challenges we face in hearing from God, that’s discernment.  We looked at the challenges we face in standing in our true identity, regardless of the environment we are in or the people we are around, that’s differentiation.  We looked at the challenges we face in seeing ourselves and others through the loving, healed lens of the Gospel. To do that, we need discipleship.    

Last week, Ken explained that when we can’t see ourselves in a healthy way, we struggle, become defensive, and create more issues as we get triggered, anxious, and react to people rather than loving them where they are.  It’s when we are under pressure that who we are comes out. It’s so easy to get triggered and react in ways that aren’t helpful.  Pressure and tension have a way of exposing us, and often it’s those triggered reactions that cause the biggest issues in relationships.  I loved his talk last week because we can all relate, can’t we?  And as I listened, I just kept thinking how awesome it would be to be able to relax in all of who we are, and not feel this need to protect or defend ourselves, but to be ok with all of who we are, the good and the bad, nothing to protect, or defend, it just sounds peaceful, and this time of year we could all use some peace, couldn’t we?

This is why we walked through that section of Colossians 3 the last time I was with you. Paul is helping us see that what Jesus has done for us (the Gospel message) is far greater than we realize.  Yes, we will one day be in Heaven, which is amazing, but as we set our hearts and minds on God, and as we let the peace of Christ rule our hearts and the message of Christ live within us, we gain a new way to see ourselves! 

Colossians 3:12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved… NIV

I wanted us to slow down and try to accept it, even though it can be difficult.  Not only do we see ourselves in a new light, but we also gain a new way to see other people.  We don’t see them as the world does; we don’t see race, status, titles, religion, or class. Now we see all as equal because Christ is ALL and is in ALL.  But it doesn't stop there.  Not only do we gain this new way to see ourselves and others, but we get a whole new way to live; we take off the old life and put on the new!  I wanted to focus on this new way we view ourselves and other people during our last conversation, and today I would like to lean into that last part: this new way of living.  Paul talks about this concept, the old and new ways of living, in a lot of his letters, and what I always like to point out is that Scripture on repeat is important!  And while we could have gone to many places in Paul’s letters to read about the old and new life, I wanted to start in 2 Corinthians because Paul says this new life is controlled by something. 

2 Corinthians 5:14 Either way, Christ's love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. 15 He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them. 16 So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! 17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! NLT

This really echoes what we read in Colossians, doesn’t it?  Before we move on with the talk today, did you notice what Paul says controls the life of someone who is living for Jesus?  It isn’t our emotions, appetites, feelings, or desires.  It isn’t other people, what this world says we should do, or even our hurts, upbringings, and past experiences.  Our lives, this new life, is now controlled by Christ’s love.  Whew, that is different, isn’t it?  Because Jesus died for all, we put to death that old way of living, we don’t see or evaluate ourselves and others through that old way of living, we are new people who belong to the new family of Jesus, so the old life is gone, and a new one has begun…but can we just be honest here, that old life still hangs on, doesn’t it?  We don’t see a ton of life change in ourselves, or in many Christian’s lives, do we?  This is why growing in our relationship with God, staying deeply connected to Jesus, is so important, this is why we set our hearts and minds on Him and let the peace of Christ rule us, allowing God’s Word to live in us, because as we grow in Him, what Jesus has done for us, penetrates to the deepest parts of us, as it does, we get a new way to see ourselves, and others. Our hearts turn from wanting to do what we want towards doing what God wants us to do. Why? Because Christ’s love controls us now, we gain a new way to see ourselves and others, and we gain brand new values and priorities to live by.

But we can be honest here, it can be difficult to reset our priorities from what we were taught growing up and what we have learned over time.  We all have a way of living, and we are taught a value system and what to prioritize in our lives, this has been pushed on us since we were young, and it’s tough to see past it, which is why Paul uses such intense, life and death language with this old life, new life stuff, saying things like you died, and your old life is now hidden in Christ, or that the old life is dead and gone.  It needs to be killed, and that is a big process that takes effort, energy, and a close connection with God, so we can heal and relearn life.  Why do I say relearn life? Because “new life” would be lived in a new way, it would be different than the old way we lived.  That means that if we are truly living in this new life, our priorities change, because what used to matter to us in the old life no longer matters in the new.  This is life change, and I will add that it is not easy, and it is pretty rare to see these days, but if we are truly living this new life, our priorities change.

So before we go any further, I want to ask you a few questions.  First, what are your priorities?  What matters most to you?  Do you know?  Have you ever taken a moment to think about it?  Not sure?  Well, I can help you with that.  What do you think about and talk about most?  Where do you spend your time and money?  Here’s an important question to think through: Who or what determines your priorities?  Who or what determines where you spend your energy, thoughts, conversations, time, and money?  This is what matters to you.  Why is this important?  Because we are new people, who not only see ourselves and others in a new way, but also live new lives, which means we have new priorities that are not being shaped by this world, by people, by our hurts and wounds or upbringings, but by Jesus…if they aren’t, well, we haven’t killed that old life and until we do that we won’t experience the new.  This is important because our priorities speak loudly about who we are.  Our priorities reveal what matters to us, and what matters to us shows what we believe.   In our last discipleship class, Pete Scazzero made a profound statement that really made me think.

“Your calendar is a theological document.”  Pete Scazzerro  

What Pete is saying here is that where we spend our time reveals our priorities, and our priorities reveal what we truly believe.  So, if we are wondering whether we are stepping into this new life, we look at what matters to us, which is revealed in how we spend our time, money, and energy.  New life is more than just feeling better about ourselves and knowing Heaven is our eternal destiny; it shapes our view of ourselves and others and frees us to live a whole new way. Without new priorities, there can be no new life. 

So, I’m about to ask you the most obvious question I could ask you here in a sermon, but I want you to answer it.  What should the highest priority be for a Christian?  Yes, God should be first in your life; He is priority one.  Jesus says we seek Him above all else with all our heart, mind, and soul.  

Matthew 6:33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. NLT

Matthew 22:37 Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” NIV

This is priority number one in our new life in Christ.  It’s God first.  But this isn’t new information.  We know this.  The bigger question isn’t if we know this answer; the real question of our lives becomes: Is this how we live?  Do we seek God above all else?  Do we love God with ALL our heart, soul, and mind?  Is God now the highest priority of our lives?  

For so many of us, we want to experience this new life in Christ, but we aren’t necessarily putting God first in our lives.  That old life, those old priorities, and those old choices keep running the show.  Even if we want to make new choices and live for God first, that old way of living keeps bubbling up to the surface, blocking us from the new life we want.  This is why Paul is so intense with the need to kill off this old way of living.  It has to be that aggressive, because this new life is more than cleaning up a few behaviors, and it is more than just a new way to see ourselves and others; it’s a whole new way to live, with new values and priorities, which we now experience because the love of Christ controls us, the old is gone, the new has begun.  Check out this quote from Ezra Benson. 

“When we put God FIRST, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities.” Ezra Taft Benson

Isn’t that awesome?  When God is first, truly first in our heart, mind, and soul, everything else falls into its proper place or drops out of our lives.  That sounds a lot like what Paul was saying. As we allow God to be first, our love for Him begins to control our lives, and our desires shift to what God desires.  We read throughout Scripture about this new life, and we all want it, and Scripture says we will experience it when God is first in our lives, when we love Him with all our heart, mind, and soul.  The key to experiencing healing, new life, and a new way to live and love as God intended is to reset your priorities, making God first in your life by giving God all your heart, mind, and soul.

But we need to talk about something…This isn’t unclear to us.  We know this.  Scripture is very clear, and most of us know this is the way we should live: that God should be first. But it is still challenging, and I will tell you why.

You aren’t the only one who knows this is the key to you experiencing ‘new life’; your enemy does too. This is important for us to look at. If we all know God should be first, that He should have all our heart, mind, and soul…why doesn’t everyone live this way?  Why is it so rare to see people living a new life?  Well, I’m just going to say it, you have an enemy who understands that the key to your healing and freedom comes from you letting go, and giving God all of your heart, so he spends his time going after your heart, and giving us plenty of other things to care about, hurt over, prioritize, desire, and fill our heart, mind, and soul with…and I would add, he is really good at this, and he doesn’t fight fair.  He gives us plenty of things to chase after and care about that can take God’s place in our hearts. 

1 John 5:21 Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God's place in your hearts. NLT

There are so many things in this world that can take God’s place in our hearts that this world, our culture, and people push on us.  If we aren’t killing the old self and setting our hearts and minds on Him, it is so easy to slide into things that take God’s place in our hearts, and it can be very good things that matter deeply to us.  I’m telling you the enemy just doesn’t fight fair…not only do we have the world and people of this world telling us what matters more than God, but we also have an upbringing that has shaped what matters to us, add to that things we deeply care about, and we can start to understand why Paul is so aggressive with his kill the old, live in the new mindset.  This is brutal!  The enemy doesn’t just give us things to care about that can take the place of God in our lives; the most cruel and painful way our enemy attacks us is through hurtful lies and deceptions that he wants us to agree with.  When we do, over time, those things lock in our hearts, minds, and souls.  This is so tough; the enemy doesn’t fight fairly, and Paul writes about this, too.

2 Corinthians 10:3 The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way — never have and never will. 4 The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. MSG

Let’s switch over to the NIV as Paul exposes the enemy's brutal tactics here.

2 Corinthians 10:3 For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. NIV

This world pushes so hard against you experiencing new life, and wants you stuck in the old.  Your enemy will not only give you plenty of things to take God’s place in your heart, but he will also fight dirty.  Hitting you in the areas you struggle with the most, doing whatever he can to get you to agree with lies about who you are.  Add to that growing up with a set of values and priorities that may not line up with God, and it’s just no wonder that so many of us walk through life feeling like less, like an outsider, believing all the negative things this world throws at us.  This world and the people of it have a way of beating the goodness and life right out of us.  And we walk through life feeling like outcasts, feeling like less, hurting, and hurting others, struggling and frustrated because we aren’t experiencing new life even as we attend church and find God, and talk about new life.

But you know, it’s not all gloom and doom here!  

While the enemy comes at us with a lot of brutal things to keep us from new life, we learned today that the weapons we are armed with are actually set up to demolish that entire corrupt culture.  Because of God’s great love for us, we have Jesus. He won…so while it is brutal, and feels like the deck is stacked against us, when we allow Jesus all the way into our lives, and live in relationship with Him, placing God first in our lives, we will find this new life, we find everything we are looking for…we experience new life, but that only happens if God is first.  

So many of us find Christ and then spend our lives wondering where this new life is that we read of in Scripture.  We keep waiting for it, but it isn’t happening.  But we must understand that just because we become Christians, it doesn’t mean we automatically experience this new life.  This is why Paul says we must put off or die to that old life, and step into the new.  So, can I ask you something today?  Who or what controls your life?  Who or what has first place in your life?  So many of us read about new life, want it, and wonder why we aren’t experiencing it. Still, if we are honest, we are happy to have Jesus as our Savior, which means we look forward to heaven someday, but we aren’t as open to Jesus as the Lord of our lives, allowing Him to shape our self-view, how we see and treat others, and how we live our lives.  You see, life change, this new life that comes when God is first, and won’t happen any other way.  Listen to God speak through the prophet Jeremiah here,

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity. NIV

God has plans for us to prosper us and give us hope.  He says we will call upon Him and He will listen and free us from captivity. When He is first, when we seek Him with all our heart, we will find Him. 

Let’s end today with that quote from Ezra Taft Benson…

“When we put God FIRST, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities.” Ezra Taft Benson

So please take some time to reflect on this today.  

What matters most to you?  

Have you ever taken a moment to think about it?  Not sure?  What do you think about and talk about most?  Where do you spend your time and money?  Who or what determines your priorities?  Why is this important?  Because as followers of Christ, we are new people, who not only see ourselves and others in a new way, but also live new lives, which means we have new priorities that are not being shaped by this world, by people, by our hurts and wounds, or upbringings, but by Jesus.  

So, think about this: what has changed in your life because Jesus is now in it?  

The amazing truth of what Jesus did for us is that we not only get heaven to look forward to someday, but also a new identity, with a new way to see and love ourselves and others, and we also get a brand-new way to live.  

So, be honest, has the old life gone, and the new life begun?  If it hasn’t, the hang-up will always come back to your priorities.  When God is first, the rest will fall into place, if God is not first, we will struggle to experience the fullness of what Jesus did for us, so please take the time to get honest, to slow down, and look at what has first place in your life, because when God is first you experience new life, and that is when things get fun.  So what has changed because of Jesus in your life?  Do you see yourself in a new way?  Do you see others in a new way?  Are you living a new life?  You can.  Because of Jesus, it is yours if you want it, but it won’t just magically fall in your lap; it comes together when you make the deliberate choice to ruthlessly reset your priorities, placing God first in your life.